- Published: Friday, 14 February 2014 02:38
- Written by Damien Moody
- Hits: 176
The Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence is requesting proposals for workshops. I decided to try to submit one, even though I know I have no choice but to be very informal about it because of my lack of experience with running workshops or making presentations. Nevertheless, this is important. If I can make a difference - make one person understand that guys suffer at the hands of women as much as women suffer at the hands of men - it's worth it.
Here's the page for submissions: http://mnadv.org/submit-a-workshop-proposal/
This is what I said:
"I have never done this before, so if you have some guidance to offer, I will gladly take it. I don't know if anyone at all will be speaking about male victims of intimate partner violence, but as I am one myself and I have recently lost a very exhausting battle with the Social Security Administration, I happened to see this site. It is absolutely essential that all victims are treated fairly and compassionately, and at present, very few male victims are given any consideration at all. They are often arrested for the crimes of their abusers. I'm thinking of perhaps a simple, heartfelt presentation, which I would be happy to do, about what men go through as victims and the issues we face from society in general. I have a web site: http://abusedmen.org that contains a good amount of research about male victims, much of which agrees that men and women are victims in equal numbers. Domestic violence is terrible for anyone to suffer, so all victims deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of gender.
Again, this is a new medium for me, so please forgive me if I don't get this right. I'll just say a few basic things about myself in terms of DV.
I was married to someone I thought was beautiful and intelligent - someone I thought loved me as I loved her. But even when we were only engaged, she started displaying irrational and unstable behavior. Over the course of about six years, she abused me in various ways, and the level kept escalating until I ran away from our home one day without shoes. I lived in a storage closet for about a month until I had a real place to live. Since then, I have done everything I could to heal and understand what I went through. I now have wonderful girlfriend and we have a very happy, mutually loving home together. I continue to fight against DV and IPV through my site, abusedmen.org, as well as against the stigmatization and ridicule that society imposes against male victims. Happily enough, many of my supporters and peers in this fight are women who understand that it not only can happen to anyone, but it in fact does happen to anyone."
They require a resume, and I really did not know what to give them, so I simply created a document and submitted this:
"A resume is required for this submission. I apologize, but while I could upload the resume from my former career in information technology, I don't see how it's relevant. I'm currently a musician and studio engineer who works from home. I'm also a guy who has been through DV as the victim and have done a lot to run http://abusedmen.org and corresponding social media pages for the site. I hope that counts for something."
I know this probably doesn't impress them. Maybe they're looking for people with graduate degrees in psychology or something. But maybe they'll surprise me by at least telling me they already have presenters addressing this topic. I prefer to be hopeful.